To the Bad Hombres of Paraguay



Note: I’ve been really angry lately. At men, mostly, and the culture that makes it ok for them to treat my friends and me like total garbage. So I’m breaking my hiatus to get this out of my system.

If you have to start a sentence with “I don’t know much about this but…” and close it with “sorry for being condescending,” you probably shouldn’t have started the sentence in the first place. We will talk about your mansplaining behind your back for the next week.

Most of us don’t really give a shit what you think…so when you tell us that we’d look prettier if we grew our hair out/got contact lenses/wore more/less makeup, we don’t think “Oh I’ll get right on that because I want to please my man,” we think “go fuck yourself, I don’t do any of this for you.”

We’re curious — when was the last time cat calling got you laid? Does it ever work? Do you ever say “Oh man, I’m so glad I invaded that pretty blonde’s personal space and made her feel unsafe on the street while she was walking home because she totally took the bait and now we’re gonna start a family!” Never? That’s what we thought. Fuck your machismo. The street is just as much yours as it is ours, and we would like to go to the grocery store without being asked to “darte un beso por abajo” and being run off the road when we say NO.

We are capable of getting on the bus ourselves so please stop grabbing our asses to pull us up the last step. Speaking of buses please stop sitting so close next to us, since when is whipping it out in the seat next to me supposed to be sexy? It’s not. Stop doing that.

If you are a male gynecologist we didn’t have a choice but to see because the female gyn is on vacation, you don’t get to ask us about our love lives. We’re in a very vulnerable place, up in the stirrups as you’re placing our IUDs…but you asking if we’re getting said IUD because we’re “sexually adventurous” is really asking to get kicked in the face and we’re in prime position for that so I’d watch out if I were you. And maybe also, as a medical professional, recognize that a woman’s choice of contraceptive method generally has nothing to do with men?? Just a suggestion.

Stop cheating on your girlfriends. Break up with them. And when you do, be honest. Don’t pull any of that “I’m messed up and you deserve better” bullshit. Tell us you can’t be trusted to keep it in your pants. Your douchebaggery-disguised-as-nobility is not actually very well disguised so you might as well just own up to it.

If we see you every day for three months, two years, however long, make a goddamn effort to learn our names. We probably know yours because we pay attention. Names are a whole lot more helpful in explaining who you’re looking for than “la gorda” or “The pretty one.” WE ARE HUMANS TOO OK?

Our benevolently sexist friends might “try to help” and tell us to fight back or ask “well why don’t you tell Gustavo?” Remember that we don’t fight back because everyone knows where we live. Remember that if we called Gustavo every time this happened, we’d be on the phone every day. Remember that we’ve accepted aggressive street harassment, blatant sexism and machismo culture as the norm, and unfortunately, we need YOUR help to make it stop. So if you wanna be an ally, by all means, be our guest, but don’t tell US how to manage the situation we’ve been navigating since before we all got boobs.


The Nasty Women



2 thoughts on “To the Bad Hombres of Paraguay

  1. Good for you and all the other Peace Corps women who are battling it out in their host countries, to help their host sisters live with respect and dignity!! As a Peace Corps mom, I’m really proud of you, and amazed by your warrior spirits.


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